You Are the Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine
by lovethatignites
Summary: Futuristic threeshot focused on the Novoas—Jax, Emma, and Ahna Novoa, that is.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This isn't the story I mentioned to a couple of you in reviews. This is a different story I got the idea for yesterday. Shout out to ghostgirl19 for helping me out on a couple of details. :) Title is a line from Mine by Taylor Swift. I highly recommend you watch the video for it if you haven't; it's adorable. Enjoy!**

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><p>Emma Novoa awoke on a Friday morning to two of her favorite things: warm sunlight flooding in through her bedroom window and her amazing shirtless husband planting feathery kisses along her neck. She giggled and sighed with bliss. "Good morning to you, too."<p>

Jax removed his lips from his wife's neck and grinned at her with that eternally perfect smile of his. "Awe, look who's beautiful when she wakes up." He cupped her face in his hands and pecked her on the lips. "And when she makes breakfast." Another peck. "And when she gets home from work." Another. "And every moment of every day."

Emma chuckled and placed her hands on her husband's face. "Well aren't you sweet." She kissed him but this time it wasn't playful; it was passionate. They deepened the kiss until Emma's hands were in his short black hair and she was quietly moaning into his mouth. Jax pulled her thin yet curvy lingerie-clad body on top of him and reverted to planting kisses down her neck. She closed her eyes and felt like she was on Cloud 9 until—

"Again?"

The husband and wife broke apart and turned to look at their doorway. Standing right inside of it was their adorable five-year-old daughter, Ahna. Her name had a double meaning. Anna was Emma's favorite character from her favorite Disney movie _Frozen_ and Leanna was Jax's late mother's name. The A-N-N-A in both was pronounced like A-H-N-A, so they'd decided on that unique spelling for their daughter's name. With a dad named Jax and a mom who held the title of the Chosen One, it was necessary the little girl follow the special name/title pattern her family had going. Her middle name was Marie, in honor of Emma's late mother Maria.

Ahna held her teddy bear to her stomach and said, "You guys wrestle a lot."

Emma blushed.

Jax chuckled. "Morning, Ahna."

"Antonio Rueda and Jessica Miller wrestled at school yesterday. But they were wrestling cuz they were mad at each other and plus they had all their clothes on."

"Ahna, why don't you go get ready for school and Mommy will get breakfast started?" her mother desperately suggested.

The small, long-dark-brown-haired girl shrugged. "Okay." She turned around to exit.

"Ah ah," her father said in a reprimanding tone, halting her in her tracks. "Where do you think you're going?"

"My room..."

"By walking?"

Panic washed over Ahna's face as she realized her error. "Oh..."

"Ahna, what did I tell you about doing things the _powerless_ way?"

"The powerless way is for humans and Millers," she recited solemnly, eyes on the floor.

"Correct. Now," he grinned, "how do Novoas do things?"

"The magic way!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down.

"Excellent! Show your mother what we've been working on."

Ahna took a deep breath then closed her eyes and waved her index finger. A swirl of blue-violet magic enveloped her and then she disappeared. A second later, she squealed, "I DID IT! I DID IT!" from down the hall.

"Great job, sweetie!"

"THANKS, DADDY!"

"Did you see that?" Jax asked as he turned to his wife, heart swelling with pride. "She's improving!"

But Emma wasn't returning his smile. She was giving him The Look.

"What?"

"'Humans and Millers'? Really?"

"Oh, come on. It's funny and you know it is."

"Jax, she goes to school with Daniel's kids! She needs to get along with them, not act like she's better than them."

"Em," Jax said without a hint of humor in his voice. "It's not acting if she _is_ better than them. Which she is."

Emma whacked him on the arm which only made him laugh. "What? Our DNA versus Daniel and Sophie's. It's not shocking we produced the better offspring."

"This is serious! You're not the one who goes to her parent-teacher conferences. I like to get good reports from Ms. Novak, not—"

"Mhm," Jax mumbled, climbing on top of his wife and kissing her jaw line.

"Hey, we were having a conversation—"

"Mhm." He trailed kisses from her jaw line down onto her neck.

"Jax!" But her protests were futile. She was completely incapable of resisting him and the smile on her face proved as much.

"I think our conversation was done," he murmured as his lips approached The Place on Emma's neck, the place that was her total weakness. He kissed it gently at first and then began to nip at it, causing her to lean her head back and let out a pleasurable exhale.

"We can't," she managed between breaths. "I have to shower—"

"Good idea…"

"Not like that! I mean shower-shower, by myself. Ahna has to be at school by nine and it's already eight and I haven't even started on breakfast and—"

"Magic."

"You know how I feel about using magic for mothering duties."

Jax finally stopped kissing his wife's body. He groaned with annoyance then lifted his head to look her in the eyes. She was giving him her infamous puppy dog eyes, which made any resentment he felt toward her "fulfilling my mothering duties without magic gives me a sense of accomplishment" philosophy temporarily melt away. Because Emma didn't just find Jax irresistible; Jax found Emma irresistible, too. He climbed back onto his own side of their luxurious king-sized bed and propped himself up on one elbow so he was facing her. "You owe me," he conceded.

"I'll stop by the house during my lunch break," she promised. "Think you can get away at noon?"

"I have my own company; I can do whatever I want."

She gave him a slow, passionate kiss on the lips then whispered, "Perfect."

He shook his head. "You, my dear Chosen One, are the sexiest woman alive."

"And you, my rebel with a halo, are the sexiest man alive."

"I know."

"Cockiness is not attractive, Jax!" Emma playfully yelled as she climbed over top of him to get off the bed.

"Yeah, sure. That's why you married me."

Emma bit her lip as her husband's signature smirk turned into that grin that to this day made her heart flutter. She shook her head and walked into their bathroom to get her morning routine started.

Twenty minutes later, the couple was downstairs, looking gorgeous and dashing as ever. While Emma preferred to shower the old fashioned way, she'd come to rely on magic for primping. She'd cast a few spells and in just fifteen seconds, her dark brown hair was dry and in perfect curls, her makeup light on the eyes and bold on the lips (berry pink lipstick much), and her outfit business-perfect (pink blazer over a black top, black pencil skirt, and pink heels Maddie Rueda had insisted she borrow #TheDiegoEffectFTW).

Jax did not prefer to shower the old fashioned way (unless of course his Em was accompanying him) so he'd taken care of that and everything else about his morning the magic way. He was wearing one of his many custom-tailored black suits with a white dress shirt, blue tie, and black dress shoes. It was his unofficial I'm The CEO of This Company and Yes I'm Hot But I'm Madly in Love with My Wife and I Always Will Be So Look Away and Get Back to Work uniform.

Now Jax was sitting at the dining room table while Emma put the finishing touches on her famous French toast.

"Doesn't it look horrible?" she asked, placing a few blueberries off to the side of Ahna's favorite Dora the Explorer plate.

Jax tilted his head and re-examined the blueprint his wife had given him. "I'm not seeing what's so horrible about it. It's almost the same design you came up with."

"It's obvious." Emma used magic to make her and Jax's plates appear on the table while she carried Ahna's over by hand. "BREAKFAST IS READY!" she hollered over her shoulder. She sat down and sighed. "Katie's design doesn't incorporate any glitter."

"Ohhhh." Of course. Now he saw it. In Emma's blueprint for the latest client of the company she worked for, Designs 4 U, there was lots of glitter: on the love seat, on the posters, on the gypsy beads hanging in front of the closet. Katie Rice's design, on the other hand, was more business-y and sharp-edged. "Well, your design is clearly better. You said Alexis's parents described her as an eight-year-old girly girl who likes gymnastics and cheerleading. No girl who fits that description wants the room Katie designed. It's too adult."

"Exactly!" Emma shoved a forkful of French toast in her mouth with frustration. "I'm glad someone understands. It's so unfair Katie got that promotion. I work my butt off everyday yet she's the one Lisa—OH MY GOSH!"

"What's wr—WHOA!" Jax followed his wife's gaze over to the archway between the kitchen and the dining room. There stood Ahna in almost an exact replica of the lingerie number Emma had woken up in.

"Ahna!" Emma wiped her mouth with a napkin and got to her feet. "What are you wearing?"

"Do you like it?" the little girl asked, running over to her parents.

"Where did you get that from?" her mother asked, trying not to let her voice infliction give away how much she was freaking out on the inside.

"I used magic!"

Emma shot her husband a glare. He pointedly ignored it and asked, "Why?"

"Because I wanted to look like Mommy. My nightgowns are boring. Hers are cool!"

The adult witch's face flushed a deep red as she shot a spell at her daughter. Instantly, her outfit changed into a very cute, very kindergarten-appropriate blue and purple plaid dress with white tights and Mary Janes.

"Heyyy!" Ahna whined with that signature expression of hers that meant she was about to cry. "Why'd you do that?"

"Sweetie." Emma wrapped her daughter in her arms and walked back to the table. She sat the little girl on the chair next to hers. "Mommy's nightgowns are for big girls only."

"Why?" Ahna asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, um… because you're not allowed to wear them until you get married."

"Oh." The small child tilted her head thoughtfully. "When will I get married?"

"When you're thirty-five," her father answered, casting a spell in his head to refill his coffee cup.

"But you and Mommy are only twenty-eight. Thirty-five comes..." She counted on her fingers. "Seven numbers after twenty-eight. And I wasn't born until after you were married! And I'm five and twenty-eight comes..." She counted on her fingers some more. "Twenty-three numbers after five. So you were twenty-three when you got married. Or younger."

Jax pointed at his wife. "She gets her math nerd abilities from you."

Emma smiled as their daughter put a couple of blueberries in her mouth. "Ahna, you'll get married when you fall in love with a guy who..." Her heart melted as she watched Jax tap away at his iPhone 52. He had his game face on, undoubtedly sending out commands to his staff (or as he called them, his "troops"), already taking care of business before his actual work day began. "Well, a guy who's like your father."

"Awwww..." Ahna looked down with disappointment.

Jax had been smiling at Emma but now he contorted his face with fake offense. "Hey!"

"Ahna!" her mother said with surprise. "Don't you want to marry a guy who's nice, cute, charismatic, and fun?"

"Well yeah, but..." She sighed. "I was planning on marrying a boy in my class, Christopher Planter."

Emma smiled at how adorable that was before realizing something. "Wait a minute. You've told me about Christopher Planter. And I've seen him when I go in for parent-teacher conferences. He's nice, cute, charismatic... He's a lot like your dad."

"Yeah but he doesn't talk funny."

Emma laughed so hard she had to step away from the table and try to catch her breath.

"Hey, you!" Jax cast a spell to tele-transport Ahna onto his lap. "I do not talk funny! I have an accent."

"You do so tawk funneh—AHH!" Ahna squealed with laughter as her father launched a tickle attack on her. "STOP IT!"

Emma took a picture with her own (pink and purple glittery) iPhone 52 then started a new text message. "Andi is going to _die_ when she hears about this!"

"Speaking of the future Mrs. Harper, what time are she and Kurt coming over?" Jax asked, allowing Ahna to escape and run back to her own side of the table.

"They said seven, but you know them. They'll probably be working on new designs for _Zombie Apocalypse 16_ until 7:30, which means dinner will be pushed up to eight and drinks to nine..."

Leave it to Emma's best friend Andi Cruz to not only meet the son of the creator of her favorite video game, but catch his eye and end up engaged to him, too. They'd dated for two years before Kurt popped the question last spring. Their wedding was set for this upcoming summer and was going to be—of all things—zombie-themed. The two were a match made in Arcade Paradise.

"Auntie Andi and Uncle Kurt are coming over?!" Ahna asked with a mouth full of French toast. The sight triggered a memory in Emma's brain. It was sophomore year and the Witches' Council was trying to break up Emma and Daniel. Agamemnon had cast some spells on Emma while simultaneously stuffing his face with French toast. At the time, Emma had been angry with him for trying to end her relationship with the human. But now? She wanted to throw herself at the elder wizard's feet and thank him. She smiled to herself and made a mental note to send him a glitter basket later.

"Yes, they are," Emma said, magically redoing her lipstick then returning to her seat.

Tonight was a big night. Andi was going to tell Kurt about the magic realm. There was a lot to cover—Andi being Emma's guardian, Emma and Jax both being magical beings, Emma being the Chosen One—and the still short and usually fearless woman was terrified of how her fiancé would react. That was why they were going to have a nice, peaceful dinner then break the news to him over drinks. But Kurt was a cool guy; Emma highly doubted he'd flip out over the whole magic thing whether he had some alcohol in him or not. Not to mention he loved Andi way too much to call off their engagement over something she loved.

"Yay!" The little girl clapped her hands with excitement. She absolutely adored Andi. In fact, the two were so close Andi had asked Ahna to be her flower girl. Ahna was elated and couldn't wait to be in the wedding. She loved Kurt and Andi together. "Kandi is my OTP," she announced.

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "OTP?"

"It means one true pairing."

"I know what it means. I'm just wondering how _you_ know what it means."

"Krista and Antonio say that all the time about people they think look cute together," Ahna explained. "They learned OTP from their Aunt Gigi's articles."

The woman shook her head, a faint smile on her lips. For the entirety of her and Jax's senior year, Gigi Rueda had referred to them as the OTP of Iridium High. "Of course they did."

"Finish your breakfast," Jax instructed their daughter, finally putting his phone away. "You don't want your mother to be late for work."

For the next few minutes, the family ate in silence. And then:

"When can I drink?"

"When you're thirty-five."

Emma laughed. "When you're twenty-one, if you promise to be responsible about it."

Ahna smiled to herself. She was too shy to admit it, but her parents were another one of her OTPs. Her daddy was looser about magic things than her mommy, and her mommy was looser about human things than her daddy. And they loved each other and her so much. She hoped when she married Christopher, they had a family as amazing as hers. "I promise."

"Good. Now." Emma folded her hands in her lap and sat up straight, silently cuing Ahna to follow suit. "Tell me what you're not going to do today."

"I'm not going make fun of Jessica's antique hand-me-down bike from her dad, I'm not going to use magic to get her detention, and I'm not going to call her dad a mama's boy." She leaned across the table and, holding her hand up to the side of her mouth to create a barrier between her and her mother, whispered, "At least not to her face."

Her father smirked, copied her hand barrier gesture, and whispered back, "Atta girl."

Emma raised her eyebrows. "I mean it. I want no bad behavior reports from Ms. Novak." She grabbed her plate and walked over to place it in the sink.

"So if I get in trouble?" Ahna whispered.

"You know the spell." Her father wiped his hand across his forehead and winked.

Emma turned to look at the two of them suspiciously. They flashed her their adorable grins in response. Ahna had Jax's smile which meant Emma stood doubly no chance of playing a successful Bad Cop right now. She half-smiled and said, "Get in the car…"

Ahna giggled. "Bye, Daddy!" She ran around the table and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye, angel," he said, returning the gesture.

Ahna walked to the door, cast a spell in her head, and watched as her backpack zoomed through the kitchen and dining room and into her hands. "I love doing that!" she squealed. She put her arms through the straps, stepped out onto the porch, and skipped across the driveway. She cast a spell to open the Novoas' garage door then skipped inside toward her mother's vehicle. It was a red SUV with a license plate that read GLTRLUV. Next to it was her father's black SUV with a license plate that read JAXYWXY.

Jax stood from his chair at the same time his wife was returning to the table. "Noon," he said. "Don't forget."

"Oh, trust me; I won't."

The two magically made their car keys appear in their hands as they walked toward the front door.

"Don't let Katie get under your skin," Jax advised, grabbing his leather jacket from the coat closet. "She wishes she was half as creative as you and she's jealous because she knows she's not."

"Thanks," Emma replied with a smile. "Don't let the troops stress you out. If you lose any sales, just remember that you always win in the end. They'll see."

Her husband grinned and pulled her in for a kiss. "I love you, Emma."

"I love you, Jax."

The married couple exited their house hand in hand. Sure, the walk to the garage was a short one, but no way would they pass up an opportunity to express their affection for one another. Inevitably, Jax and Emma reached their vehicles. They shared one last kiss before parting ways. Both the man and the woman were thinking about today's business tasks, annoying co-workers/employees, and how Ahna's day at school would go.

But more than anything, they were mentally counting down the hours until noon.

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><p><strong>I'm not sure if I'll post more chapters. I might, but please don't pressure me to. And before anyone asks, no, no possible future chapters will include their lunch break. XD<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Elementary soccer practice ended at 5:00 PM, but the kids convinced Maddie to stop at her and Diego's restaurant, The Beachside 7, for free ice cream. Therefore, their carpool didn't arrive at the Novoa household until 5:30.

"Here we are, sweetie," Maddie said, turning around in the driver's seat. "I'll see you tomorrow at the soccer game."

"Bye, Mrs. Rueda!" Ahna waved at her then gave Krista a hug and Antonio a high five. She hoisted her blue glittery backpack up on her shoulders and climbed out of the pink Honda (how cool was that?! No one else in town had a pink car!).

"Why can't you sleep over?" Krista whined yet again, twirling a lock of blonde hair around her finger.

"She already told you five times, Kris," her mother chuckled. "She and her parents are helping Andi tell Kurt about the Magic Realm tonight. By the way, Ahna, have your mother call me after. I want all the details and I don't think I can wait until tomorrow."

"I will." She raised her hand to cast a spell but Antonio practically shot out of his seat and exclaimed, "No, let me do it!"

Ahna lowered her hand and watched as the dark-haired little boy raised his arms. He concentrated really hard and then blew the vehicle's door closed. All three females applauded.

"Much better than last week," Krista said.

It was true. Last week when it had been Ahna's mother's turn to carpool (aka drive the witch, witch-Kanay hybrid, and wizard-Kanay hybrid home from soccer practice while they worked on their magic skills), Antonio had blown the door right off her SUV.

Once the Ruedas were gone, Ahna tele-transported herself inside her house. She'd intended on ending up in her room, but unfortunately she ended up in front of the kitchen sink… where the tap was suddenly running? Ugh! Why was it that she sometimes tele-transported next to a source of water? She was too short to reach the knobs, so she cast a spell to turn the water off then hurried upstairs. She was hoping to make it to her room before her parents asked any questions like—

"How was your day?" Emma walked out of her and Jax's bedroom. She'd changed out of her work outfit from this morning and was now wearing a white cami, one of Jax's plaid button-ups unbuttoned, and black leggings. Plus her hair was up in a messy bun. She was even beautiful when she dressed down.

"Fine," the little girl answered, avoiding her mother's eyes. "Mrs. Rueda wants you to call her tonight," she added quickly, practically sprinting toward her bedroom at the other end of the hallway.

"Whoa, there," Emma sort of laughed.

Her daughter froze in her tracks then slowly turned around. "Yes, Mommy?"

"You're not very talkative. Is something wrong?"

"No." She vigorously shook her head. "I just tele-transported wrong again is all."

The older witch cracked a smile. "Ahhh. Yeah, sorry about that; that one's my fault."

"But you never mess up when you tele-transport."

"No, but I used to. When I was in high school, I always ended up in the pool."

"Really?"

"Yep. And I probably still would if your father hadn't helped me. He made me practice every day until I got it right. So don't get discouraged; just keep practicing with Daddy and I promise you'll get it right in no time."

Ahna forced a smile.

"Remember, Auntie Andi and Uncle Kurt will be here by… are _supposed to_ be here by seven, so wash up and make sure you look presentable." She couldn't help but smile. As cute as her little girl looked with dried strawberry ice cream smeared on her face and a dirty soccer uniform on her small frame, the look was not going to fly for a formal dinner. "And try not to get too overly excited when we tell Kurt about the Realm. I know you're passionate about it, but he's new to this. We gotta ease him into the whole 'magic powers are real' thing, okay?"

"Okay." She scampered off to her room and closed the door behind her. Then she slid down the door and hugged her knees to her chest. There was no way her mommy would find out. She'd done the spell just like her daddy had taught her, just like she'd done plenty of times before. And yet something felt off this time. For some reason, she felt like she was going to get caught. She felt… jittery.

It was not a nice feeling, Ahna decided. It was not a nice feeling at all.

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><p>Unsurprisingly to everyone, seven came and went and there was still no sign of Andi or Kurt. The dinner was going to be held in the Novoas' denbar, which was down the hall from the living room. The den was on the left and the bar was on the right. A long fancy dining table was in the center of the room, separating the two. The lighting was dimmed and a few of Emma's favorite jasmine-rose candles burned warmly around the room. The vibe was very romantic and elegant.

Ahna was sitting on the plush carpet in the den, playing with some of her toys (namely: she was using magic to make her Barbie dolls talk to one another. Currently, Delilah and Bethany were arguing over who got to choose the TV program that night). Jax was leaning up against the wall, making different objects levitate in a desperate attempt to entertain himself. And Emma was running around making sure everything was in its place.

Which was a bit difficult considering her husband was moving literally everything.

"Jax!" she complained. He was making the crisp white table cloth and everything on it float a good four feet in the air. "Would you stop doing that?"

"Why?" he asked, somewhat exasperated. "They do this every time you invite them over. Ahna could be sleeping over at Maddie and Diego's and we could be cruising town on my bike right now if we weren't standing around _waiting_." He said the word _waiting_ as if it was some torturous chore.

"They don't do it to inconvenience us…"

"But that's exactly what they do! They inconvenience us all the time!"

The witch cast a counter spell and in an instant the table cloth and everything else landed back on the table.

"Hey!"

"Tonight's really important." Emma looked into her husband's eyes, hoping he would see how vulnerable she was right now. "Andi's already so nervous—"

Jax made a retching noise at the back of his throat and rolled his eyes.

"Jax, please." She clasped his hand and blinked twice. "Please be nice. For me."

He looked at her for a long time. At last he sighed and said, "Alright, I'll be nice. But I'm not doing it because I want to; I'm doing it for you."

"Thank you." Emma gave him a kiss and intertwined her fingers with his. "That means a lot to me."

Off in the distance, the doorbell rang.

Ahna's concentration broke and her dolls went back to being lifeless plastic toys. "THEY'RE HERE!" she screamed, practically jumping out of her skin and running for the door.

Jax sighed and fussed with the cuff of his dress shirt while Emma cast a few more spells to make sure everything was perfect. Eventually there was nothing left to nitpick so she started worrying about her outfit "How do I look?" she asked, twirling around. She was wearing a red strapless sweetheart high-low cocktail dress paired with black heels. Big gold hoops hung from her ears, her hair was straightened, and she was rocking another bold lip color: dark red.

"Stunning, as always. Me?" Jax held out his arms and tried to look like he actually cared. Seeing as he was a guy, he recognized that how Kurt responded to tonight's revelation would have 110% nothing to do with how he was dressed. But he was trying to make his wife happy, so pretending his outfit choice mattered it was.

Emma smiled as she took in his white dress shirt, red bow tie, black slacks, and black loafers. His face was freshly shaved and his hair was short and spiky. "Handsome, as always."

Squeals, laughter, and cheerful greetings wafted in through the corridor.

The witch took a deep breath. "This is it."

"You sure you shouldn't have had a drink first?" Jax asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm fine."

"Exactly." He took her hand in his and squeezed. "You're fine. Don't stress, babe. Everything will work out. I promise."

Emma felt her body and mind relax just a bit. She smiled and squeezed his hand back. "You're the best."

"No, you're the best."

"Uch, already?" Andi walked into the room with Ahna on her hip. The zombie-loving woman was wearing a navy strapless beaded sweetheart ruched cocktail dress. On her feet were white T-strap sandal heels that added a couple inches to her height. Her hair was waved and her red velvet streaks were beginning to fade. "We haven't even started drinking and I already wanna puke."

Emma's face lit up. "Andi!" The two women met in the middle of the room to hug and have their BFF-y love fest.

"Sorry we're late," Kurt said, walking over to Jax. His suit was two sizes too small even though he was definitely rich enough from the _Zombie _franchise to afford one that fit and his sandy blonde hair was on the wrong side of shaggy. "You know how time slips away when you're plotting the demise of the undead." He busted out a few zombie slaying moves and even made some explosion sound effects.

_Oh kill me now,_ Jax mentally groaned. But instead of expressing that thought, he said, "Happens to the best of us. Nice to see you again, Kurt."

Twenty minutes later, the five were dining and chatting and having a great time. A good portion of the conversation revolved around Andi and Kurt's wedding.

"Auntie Andi, did you know I'm getting married, too?" Ahna asked, chewing a piece of steak.

"Oh really? To who?"

"A boy in my class. His name is Christopher Planter."

"Does he know you're getting married?" Kurt asked.

"Not yet. I'm waiting until just the right time to tell him."

Her parents chuckled while Kurt said, "Ahhhh."

"Makes sense," Andi nodded. "So is he cute?"

"He's _really_ cute."

"Sweet!" The two high-fived.

"I was thinking," Ahna continued, "since I'm going to be your flower girl, do you want to be my flower girl?"

The zombie-loving woman brought a hand to her heart. "Awh, I'm touched! But how about I be a bridesmaid instead."

"Why?" Jax asked. "You're short enough to be a flower girl."

Andi threw a roll at his head which he dodged at the last second.

"So bridesmaid," she regrouped. "That okay with you?"

Ahna smiled. "Sure!"

Before Kurt could ask what the theme of the kindergartener's wedding would be, Emma's cell phone rang.

"Oops, sorry," she said, extracting her iPhone from the top of her dress. "I thought I turned this off…" She stopped talking when she saw MS. NOVAK on the Caller ID. She eyed her daughter suspiciously. "Ahna."

"What?"

"Why is your teacher calling me at this hour?"

The color drained from the little girl's face. She didn't respond.

"Excuse me." Emma pushed out her chair and walked into the hall. Jax followed her. "Hello?"

"Emma, it's Charlotte Novak," the twenty-four-year-old woman's warm voice said. "I am so sorry for calling so late on a Friday. I know it's almost eight o'clock, but—"

"No, no, it's fine," Emma said, hoping her voice wasn't giving away how worried she was. Jax gave her a quizzical look to which she helplessly shrugged. The wizard mouthed the word _Speakerphone _so she hit the button.

"It's just that something weird happened," Charlotte continued, her voice now loud enough for both the husband and wife to hear.

Weird almost always meant magic. "Weird, you say?"

"Very weird, actually. Just a few minutes ago, I realized I'd left myself a note today at 1:26 PM, reminding me to call you and Sophie Miller after school. But the strange thing is I didn't remember typing it, let alone _why_ I'd typed it. Until I thought about it for a while, and then it came to me."

Emma glowered at Jax who offered up a guilty smile in response.

"Ahna and Jessica got into another fight. I'm not quite sure what happened this time because I'd stepped away from the room for just a second when it started. But when I returned, they were having a fist fight right in the middle of the classroom! Jessica was crying because Ahna—"

"Now wait a minute, _Charlotte_," Jax spat, much to his wife's horror. "What makes you so sure Ahna wasn't the victim? Just this morning she told us Jessica was wrestling with Antonio Rueda yesterday. Maybe Ms. Miller has some anger issues, yeah?"

"Let me assure you, Mr. Novoa, I am not placing all the blame on Ahna. I know how testy Jessica can be. But when I entered the room, Ahna was beating Jessica's head against the floor."

Emma gasped.

"Well she probably deserved—"

"What can I do?" the witch asked in a rush, slapping a hand over her husband's mouth and taking the phone off speaker. She desperately did not want any more of his input. There was a reason she was the one who handled school things.

"Well, I already talked to Sophie and she agreed to a parent-teacher conference tomorrow at 10:00 AM."

"Sure. Yes. Of course. I'll meet you and Sophie at—"

"Um, Emma, I'm afraid you've misunderstood. Sophie agreed to her and Daniel _both_ coming to a parent-teacher conference. I was hoping you and Jax could both come, as well. I'd really like to talk to the four of you together."

Emma's face went absolutely white.

"What's wrong?" Jax whispered.

"Emma?" the teacher's voice asked, suddenly sounding far away. "Mrs. Novoa?"

"The… the four of us?" Emma gulped and placed her free hand to her temple. "You're telling me you want Jax and Daniel… at a parent-teacher conference… together?"

The grin that lit up Jax's face was not encouraging in the slightest.

"Well yes, that would be optimal—"

"I'm sorry, Charlotte, but I really don't think—"

Suddenly the phone disappeared from her hand and reappeared in Jax's. "Sounds great, Charlotte! What time did you say, again?" Jax snapped his fingers and a blue shield appeared around him, blocking Emma from taking the phone back. "Ten in the morning? Excellent! We will see you there. You have a great night, too. Goodbye." He hung up, dropped the shield, and laughed.

"Jax, I kid you not—"

"What are you so worried about, Em?" He happily handed her the girly and glittery iPhone. "I get to reunite with my old high school buddy, Daniel Miller! After all these years! This'll be wonderful!"

"Hey, speaking of old buddies, you know who I haven't seen in a while? Jax Jr. Here's a fun idea: summon him tomorrow."

"Not if you paid me."

"Jax, I am _begging you_ to summon him tomorrow."

"But," he pulled his best shocked face, "Emma. Illegal spells are _baaaaad_."

Emma's hand found its way back to her temple. "Not as _baaaaad_ as you and Daniel being in the same room…"

By the time the couple returned to the den, the dinner table was abandoned. Ahna had returned to her spot from earlier, except she wasn't playing with her dolls anymore; she was sitting there looking scared. Andi and Kurt were over at the bar where Andi had already done several shots of whiskey and was pouring Kurt his second. If that wasn't a clear indicator she was nervous, nothing was.

"Friends!" Jax greeted them. "Give me that bottle; tonight's a celebration!" He grabbed the whiskey from Andi and took a long, satisfying swig.

Andi craned her neck to look at Emma. "What's wrong with him?" she asked.

Emma didn't respond. She marched right over to her daughter and placed her hands on her hips. "Ahna Marie Novoa, you are in major trouble."

The little girl looked up at her mother, tears already forming in her eyes. _I knew I felt jittery for a reason._ "But Mommy—"

"You were beating Jessica's head against the floor? I'm appalled! I know you two don't get along but physical violence is absolutely intolerable!"

"But—"

"What were you thinking?"

"SHE STARTED IT!" Ahna screamed, covering her face with her hands and sobbing.

The room got quiet. Emma didn't need to turn around to know all eyes were on her. She sighed and knelt down on the floor, feeling a pang of guilt in her heart. She pulled her daughter in for a hug and said, "Sweetie… sweetie, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I know Jessica has some anger issues. Would you like to tell me what she did first?"

The little girl wiped her nose with the back of her arm and nodded. "She was lying about Daddy."

"How was she lying about Daddy?" her mother asked, petting her hair. "What did she say?"

"She said he's afraid of birds."

Andi spit out her drink and had to leave the room.

Emma slowly turned her head to look at her husband. His joy from two minutes ago was gone. In it's place was sheer horror.

Kurt snorted. "That's stupid. Who's afraid of birds?"

Jax flinched and set the bottle on the counter. He coughed and held his fist to his mouth and deliberately avoided eye contact with everybody.

"Um, Ahna, will you excuse your daddy and me for just one second?" Emma asked, standing up.

"Okay," the little girl nodded, sniffling.

Emma grabbed her husband's hand and pulled him out of the room.

They heard Andi's laugh before they saw her. She was doubled over in the hallway, losing it. "BIRDS!" she cried, which of course caused Jax to flinch again.

"Unless you'd like your fiancé to learn magic exists by me turning him into a chinchilla, I suggest you stop it right now," Jax hissed.

That sobered Andi up. But holding in her laughter was proof that the struggle was real. "I'm gonna…" She pointed in the direction of the den. "I'm gonna go back…" She snorted.

"Kurt…" Jax called out loudly.

"I'm going, I'm going!" The short girl scampered off.

Emma turned to her husband and sighed. "Jax—"

"No."

"We talked about this—"

"No, Emma."

"We agreed that if she asked—"

"Which she hasn't!" he pointed out expertly. "She assumed it was a ridiculous lie. I say we let her live the rest of her life believing so."

"She's your daughter; she'll understand."

"She's five; she'll _understand_ she got in trouble for nothing." He took a step toward his wife. "And you just made her cry. Do you really want to confess now?"

Emma's lips parted slightly in shock. "That's low."

"That's _valid_. Emma," he said, taking a step toward her, "she doesn't have to know."

"She's going to find out eventually and then she'll be even angrier we kept it a secret for so long," the woman insisted.

"How would she find out?"

"Oh, gee, I dunno. Maybe when she turns eleven and realizes, hmm, it's kinda strange how Dad jumps every time someone says the word BIRD!"

Right on cue, the wizard flinched. His wife made a point. He didn't like to admit it, but his feathery situation hadn't exactly gotten better since high school. On the contrary, it was like Daniel's life: it had only gotten worse with time. If he couldn't handle the B-word now, he could only imagine how much he wouldn't be able to handle it by the time Ahna was eleven.

Jax raked a hand through his hair and groaned. "Fine…"

The couple returned to the dining room once more to find Andi playing dolls with Ahna… in an unconventional way. It appeared the two were pretending the Barbies were zombies.

"Andi, can we talk to Ahna for a sec?" Emma asked her best friend.

"Sure." When she stood, Emma pulled her close and whispered, "Bring it up now."

Andi's eyes widened. "But—"

"You can do it. Just bring it up lightly and we'll be over to help soon."

The short girl stuttered much like Maddie's mother Ursula Van Pelt was known to do, but ultimately she took a deep breath and soldiered on over to her fiancé.

Emma sat down in front of her daughter and motioned her husband to do the same. Reluctantly, he complied.

"Sweetie," the witch began, "do you remember that movie we watched about the girl who was sad all the time?"

Ahna thought for a moment. "The one with the really funny older brother?"

"Yeah, that's the one. She had a great life but she was still sad. Do you remember why?"

"She had… um… dilapidation?"

"Close! She had depression, which didn't allow her to be happy even in situations where nothing was actually wrong. It wasn't her fault she had depression; it was something she couldn't control. Do you understand?"

"I understand."

"Well see, Daddy has something sort of like depression. It's called a phobia."

"A phobia?" The little girl tilted her head, curious.

"Uh-huh."

"What's that?"

"Well, a phobia makes you scared of something that isn't actually scary."

"It's unnatural—" Jax started to protest.

"It's not his fault he has a phobia; it's something he can't control."

Ahna looked at her father. "What's your phobia make you scared of, Daddy?"

Jax looked up at the ceiling and slowly let out a breath. "B… _Birds_," he managed, then quickly added, "Only when they're indoors!"

"So… Jessica wasn't lying?"

Emma nervously smiled. "No, honey, she wasn't. Her father knows about Daddy's phobia and I guess he told her."

Ahna had her thinking face on. "So… Jessica was making fun of Daddy for something he can't control?"

"That's correct."

"Then I'm glad I hit her head against the floor and set her bicycle on fire!" Ahna jumped into her father's arms and hugged him tight. "I love you, Daddy."

Her parents responded at the same time. With pleasant surprise, Jax said, "Love you too, angel." With horror, Emma said, "You set her bicycle on fire?!"

"Yeaaaah," Ahna giggled mischievously. "I bet that'll send her daddy crying to his mommy!" She raised her little hand and her dad grinned and high-fived her.

Tomorrow was looking less and less promising by the minute.

"Listen, Ahna," Emma said. "It's sweet that you wanted to defend Daddy, and I know Jessica is an instigator, but what you did was wrong. I absolutely forbid you from ever hitting someone's head against the floor ever again. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah, that's a no-no," Jax agreed.

Ahna nodded. "I understand."

"And no more setting her things on fire."

"Unless her father gave them to her."

"Jax!"

Ahna dissolved into giggles.

Emma rolled her eyes with frustration. "Gee, I just can't _wait_ for tomorrow morning..."

"Because I'm gonna score a goal?"

The witch's eyebrows furrowed for a moment and then she realized what her daughter was talking about. "Oh… Ahna…"

"Coach Rueda says I'm getting better! Today he said my offensive skills have improved."

"Honey, we have to go to a parent-teacher conference with Ms. Novak and Jessica's parents tomorrow morning. We aren't going to be able to make it to your game. _Unless_ your father would like to send Jr. to the conference with me while he goes to your game…"

Before Jax could respond, Ahna surprised them both by saying, "That's okay. Grandpa Alonso and Kimberly will be there."

Her father raised his eyebrows. "You're okay if we don't go?"

Ahna nodded, smiling to herself. Both of her grandmas had passed away before she was born and she'd never met her Grandpa Novoa because her parents said he wasn't a nice man. But she had her Grandpa Alonso, and he was so fun and nice Ahna didn't mind that she didn't have her other grandparents. Plus, he'd been dating a woman named Kimberly for a few years now and she was fun and nice, too. Ahna loved shipping people and she definitely shipped Frimberly. Krista did, too, although she made Ahna promise not to mention so in front of her Grandma Ursula.

Jax smirked at his wife. "Then conference it is."

The shattering of a glass bottle sounded from across the room before Emma could reply. The Novoas turned to find a highly-concerned Kurt watching Andi awkwardly panic-laugh behind the bar. She was such a wreck she was shaking, which explained the bottle droppage.

"I think it's time we go rescue her," Emma whispered, pushing herself to her feet.

"You think?" Jax whispered back, following suit. "Let's go, Ahna." He scooped her up in his arms, took his wife's hand, and led the way over to the bar. "Kurt! Let's chat, shall we?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Keke, stop abusing the review feature. It is for reviewing the story, not attempting to chat with someone who blocked you on Twitter. If I don't want to talk to you on there, what makes you think I want to talk to you on here? I'm serious: stop.**

**Anyway: hey, guys! My apologies for not updating this story for almost two weeks. I stepped away from it for a while and consequently it was harder for me to get back into. But I eventually did get back into it, so here it is: the final installment of this threeshot! Enjoy. :)**

* * *

><p>Over the years, Emma had learned to tone down her jitteriness quite a bit. Dating and eventually being married to someone as care-free and outgoing as Jax definitely helped and continued to help her in that area. Usually. But there was next to nothing that could help her nerves right now.<p>

After talking to Kurt about the magic realm and witches and wizards and guardians and literally everything for a _full five hours_, Emma was both exhausted and slightly drunk. She rarely succumbed to drinking enough to get intoxicated, but Kurt just wouldn't shut up! Whereas some people (such as a certain ex-boyfriend of hers) would freak out and shut down upon learning the existence of magic, Kurt was absolutely intrigued and wanted to know more and more. He really was a perfect match for Andi...

Then at six o'clock in the morning (read: four hours after she finally got to sleep), Emma's phone went off with a text from Katie. She was cussing Emma out for some work problem that wasn't even her fault. The witch hadn't even replied because she knew if she did, the situation would only escalate and that was the last thing she needed right now.

_Then_ when she came downstairs after taking a shower and magically dressing and primping, she found Maddie sitting at her kitchen table, giving her a look that said she'd done something wrong. Only then did she realize she'd forgotten to call Maddie with the deets last night. She groaned and quickly explained that Kurt was annoying and she'd been too drunk and exhausted and worried to make a classy phone call by the time she and Jax finally got Kandi to leave.

And then Jax tele-transported into the kitchen with an extra pep in his step and it only made Emma want to throw a cup of coffee in his face. She especially wanted to throw coffee in his face when he was _nice_ to Maddie and started _humming_ to himself.

"You're terrible," Emma had finally said through her teeth.

"But you love me," Jax had sing-songed, pecking her on the lips then continuing to go about his morning.

Fast forward a couple hours later: Ahna was riding to her soccer game with all four of the Ruedas while Jemma pulled into Ahna's school's parking lot. Katie was still bitch-texting Emma, Jax was still grinning and humming, and Emma was still ready to lose her shit. The only way she could think to have even possibly calmed herself down was by morning-drinking, but she absolutely refused to do that, ever. Not only was it sloppy, but she still had a headache from last night's mini-hangover, and let's be real: Ahna had beat a girl's head against the floor and Jax was undoubtedly going to go out of his way to piss Daniel off. If Emma stumbled in only half remembering her own name, Ms. Novak would probably call the authorities. Jax would obviously use magic to fix the situation if it came to that, but Emma would forever live with the humiliation so no way in hell was she taking the chance.

"Here we are," Jax said with glee as he parked the black JAXYWXY SUV. "Let's go meet the Millers."

"Jax, do you have to be obnoxious today?" Emma whined, climbing out of the car and taking her husband's hand as they walked toward the school.

"Hell yes!" he exclaimed. "I was good allll last night. I put up with Kurt for six hours and then I carried your adorable drunk ass to bed. I've earned today, Em."

Jemma entered the school and walked toward the kindergarten classroom. It was on the other side of the building.

"We're only going to be here for like an hour at most," Emma said, shutting her phone off because in no way did she need any more of Katie this morning. "Why can't you be good just for that long?"

"Because I am so good at being bad." His tone was seductive and his smirk only confirmed he was being... Jax.

"Um, babe? We're in an elementary school."

"Um, babe? We're only going to be here for like an hour at most."

Emma couldn't help it: she smiled. She shoved her husband who chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Don't stress, love. This'll be fun."

"Fun is so not the word I'd—"

"I thought you ironed them!" an angry approaching male voice sounded.

"I did!" a high-pitched worried female's voice replied.

"Then why do they keep bunching up?"

"I don't know!"

If Jax had been grinning before, he was really grinning now. Standing only meters away were Daniel and Sophie Miller. Daniel looked like he hadn't slept a wink and Sophie looked supremely nervous. He was pulling at his dress pants, desperately trying to straighten them out, while she absentmindedly played with the bangle bracelets on her arm. She thought for a (long) moment then said, "Maybe it's because—"

"Daniel Horatio Miller!" Jax lead Emma right up to the other couple and extended his free hand (no way was he moving his other hand from his wife's waist; Daniel was going to see exactly what he'd lost all those years ago in high school). "It has been way, way too long."

A random bobby pin sprung out of Daniel's hair and hit Sophie in the eye. She yelped out in pain and clutched her hands to her face but her husband wasn't paying attention; he was too busy flaring his nostrils at the wizard.

"Funny, _Jax_," he said through his teeth, forcing himself to shake hands with the better-looking man. "I don't think it's been nearly long enough."

"Emma," Sophie said in a condescending tone, sticking her nose in the air.

Emma was way too mature and felt way too bad for Sophie to return the petty drama vibe. "Sophie."

Then the unfortunate bride of Daniel held a hand up to the side of her face so as to create a barrier between herself and her husband and whispered, "Don't tell Daniel, but I like your outfit." She gave her old classmate an unsubtle wink and a thumbs up.

Emma chuckled. _Same old Sophie._ "You look nice, too."

"So, do tell, _Danny_," Jax said, drinking in his nemesis's rage upon hearing the nickname Emma used to him all those years ago when they were dating, "how's life been treating you these past ten years?"

"Great, actually." Daniel stood up straighter and tried to look like he wasn't lying. "I have my own business."

"You don't say! I have my own company. I'm the CEO and I'm filthy rich, which is perfect for showering my Em with gifts. You know, when I'm not…" He made a motion that indicated casting spells. "Just making whatever she wants appear left and right." He grinned at his wife whose expression hung between _please shut up_ and _please go on_. As much as she didn't want Jax to be unprofessional about this whole thing, she'd stopped denying to herself years ago that watching him in the zone majorly turned her on.

Sophie put her hands to her heart. "Aweee! That's so sweet! Daniel doesn't buy me many gifts because the bicycle shop isn't very popular for some reason."

"SOPHIE!" Daniel shrieked.

Jax's jaw dropped while Emma desperately tried to mash her lips into a straight line. "Your business is a _bicycle shop_?" the Australian asked, flat out laughing. "Oh, man, that is priceless!"

"It's a really good one, too, but unfortunately we don't have any way to repair _burnt_ bicycles!" Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and blinked up at the ceiling.

Sophie held her hand up again and whispered to Jemma, "He was up all night crying because of what Ahna did."

"To the bicycle?" Emma asked incredulously.

"Yep."

"Not what she did to Jessica?"

"Don't worry," Sophie said brightly. "Since Ahna wiped Jessica's memory, she didn't remember getting hurt."

Emma glanced at her husband with disbelief. Suddenly she was pretty sure if Ms. Novak called the authorities on anyone, it would be the Millers. "What kind of person gets more upset about the condition of his bicycle than—"

"IT WAS AN ANTIQUE!" Daniel whined, trying to refrain from stomping his foot. When he'd called his mom at three o'clock this morning, she'd advised him to stop throwing tantrums in public, specifically when dealing with testy customers and people who enjoyed messing with him.

There were a lot of things that had happened to make Daniel worse since high school, but in short: his therapy had backfired.

"Dick," Jax muttered, truly disturbed to learn where Daniel's priorities lied.

"Emma, Jax! Sophie, Daniel!" Ms. Novak hurried in from a nearby side door and shook each of their hands. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I got caught up in traffic."

"It's no problem, Charlotte," Jax said, flashing his million dollar smile. "And might I say you look lovely in pink."

The woman totally melted. She dissolved into a pile of giggles just like a school girl. "Oh, Mr. Novoa."

Emma grabbed Jax's hand and glared at the younger woman. "I thought we were having a meeting, not a flirt-fest," she said coldly, her mouth naturally pressed into a hard line this time.

The younger woman immediately paled. "Um, yes, Mrs. Novoa, forgive me—"

"Let's just get this over with." Emma dragged her husband into the classroom, directed him to a seat near the door, and sat on his lap, possessively wrapping her arms around him.

"Jealous much?" he whispered, returning the embrace.

The witch glared at him for half a second then sighed and looked at the floor. It wasn't Jax's fault he was irresistibly charming; it was in his DNA. But that didn't change the fact that Emma wanted to kick the shins of every woman who fell under his spell.

"Hey." He took her chin in his right hand and made her look at him. "I don't have eyes for her or any woman who isn't you. You know that."

"I know…" she sighed. "Why do you have to be so damn cute?"

He chuckled. "Maybe this is your comeuppance for everything I went through in high school, yeah?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, maybe."

Jax kissed his wife then whispered, "I love you and only you."

"And I love you and only you," she whispered back.

Daniel fake-gagged as he and Sophie walked past (not holding hands or making physical contact of any kind). Jax wondered how far back on the maturity scale the bicycle shop owner had digressed. Maybe he was the emotional equivalent of a sixth grader now, or—in all honesty—a fifth grader. Daniel took a seat on the other side of the room near the window and Sophie took the seat next to him.

"Alright," the teacher said, walking in last and closing the door behind her. She stood at the front of the classroom and leaned against her desk, crossing one leg over the other. "Thank you all for agreeing to meet here today. I asked to talk to the four of you together because I'm hoping I can gain a bit of insight into what's going on with your daughters."

"What do you mean?" Daniel asked, another bobby pin flying out of his hair. This one flew at the wall and popped the balloon attached to some kid's art project.

Charlotte's lips parted slightly. She stared at the specimen for just a moment before shaking her head and returning her attention to the parents. "What I mean, Daniel, is it's clear to me that Jessica and Ahna have been taught to dislike one another." She looked back and forth between both sets of parents to assess their reactions. "I guess I'm just hoping for some background on your two families."

"Oh!" Daniel sat up straighter, eyes lighting up. "Well my mom is the best woman on the planet. She's nice and helpful and—"

"Um, Daniel?" Ms. Novak interrupted, looking slightly concerned. "I was referring to why you and Sophie don't get along with Jax and Emma."

"Freak," Jax muttered, shaking his head.

"Oh." Daniel deflated just like the tires on his bicycle. He knew he never should have given it to Jessica. Sure, he only rode that sexy one from the fifth grade these days, but that kindergarten bicycle… It was a gem. Had been since Christine had given it to him twenty-three years ago; was until just yesterday when the spawn of Jemma set it on fire with her Australian voodoo or whatever it was she'd done. "Well, we don't get along with them because… because…"

Jax grinned. "Go on. Say it."

Daniel nonchalantly placed a hand to his hair before another bobby pin could escape. "Because Jax bullies me!"

The wizard laughed too hard to object.

Charlotte was growing more and more uncomfortable as time went on. "Daniel… Don't you think 'bullying' is a term that's more appropriate for situations involving children and teenagers?"

"Not to mention today's the first I've spoken to him in ten years," Jax managed between breaths.

The teacher looked back and forth between the couples, even more confused now. "It is?"

"Yes!"

"Then how—"

"Oooh!" Sophie shot up from her desk and waved her hand around in the air, bangles clinking together. "I know why we don't get along with Jax and Emma! It's because in high school, Jax stole Emma from Daniel."

Charlotte wasn't about to take Daniel's word for anything ever again, so instead of looking at him for clarification, she looked at the Novoas.

Emma blushed and stared at her feet.

Jax shrugged. "I was gonna say they're jealous because we're better than them, but what Sophie said is true, too."

The teacher placed a hand to her temple and took a moment to process this information. "So… let me get this straight." She pointed at Daniel. "You don't like him," she motioned to Jax, "because he stole your high school girlfriend."

Daniel didn't respond.

"But you're married to someone else now!"

"That doesn't mean I can't still be mad about it!"

"Charlotte," Jax said in a business negotiation tone, "you _do_ see why he's so fun to mess with, right?"

The answer was most certainly yes but the woman wasn't about to lose her job by saying so. Instead she looked at the Millers and said, "How's your marriage? Is it good?"

"Hmm... mostly," Sophie said, thinking hard again. "Sometimes we have little fights but we always make up after he calls his mom and gets her advice."

"Define little fights."

"Well, I'm a part-time environmentalist, part-time house wife. And sometimes when I come home from work, Daniel's already home from the shop—"

Emma placed her hand over Jax's mouth.

"—and I catch him eating processed foods he ordered from non-organic restaurants. And more than that: sometimes our kids are eating it, too! I don't believe in eating processed foods, so we end up yelling about that. Then other times he gets mad because he thinks I didn't iron his pants when I actually did."

Charlotte's eyebrows crinkled. "Why does he think you didn't?"

"Because they bunch up."

"What do you—" She stopped when she looked at Daniel's calves. Indeed, his pants were bunching up and crinkling out of seemingly nowhere. Her eyebrows shot up. "_Oh._"

"His mom hasn't been able to come up with advice about that yet…" Sophie shrugged.

The teacher looked at Daniel, who was still pouting from earlier. "Sir, have you tried therapy, or…?"

"Yes! It didn't work! And don't even get me started on the risperdal!"

"I see. Daniel, would you say you and your wife are intimate?"

He tilted his head. "Are you asking if we talk a lot?"

"Gee," Jax whispered to his own wife, "I bet you sure do wish you'd married him instead, huh?"

Emma covered her mouth with her hands to keep herself from laughing.

Charlotte hung her head for a very long time. Finally she lifted it and said, "No, Daniel. I'm asking if you and Sophie are physically intimate."

The bicycle salesman's eyes became bigger than his hair. "Of course not! Our honeymoon has been over for years and we only wanted two kids: Zoey and Jessica."

Jax burst out laughing and Emma buried her face in his neck to hide the fact that she had, too.

If the teacher hadn't already asked about therapy, she would have asked now. "Your… You _do_ know there aren't just certain occasions where intimacy with your spouse is appropriate, right?"

Sophie practically jumped out of her seat. "I KNEW I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THAT!" She pointed her index finger accusingly at her husband. "I knew it I knew it I knew it!"

"So, lack of intimacy is a problem that's come up before?"

"Yes! I bring it up, like, twice a month! I knew there weren't just certain times because Maddie said she and Diego—"

"Wait a minute!" Daniel got to his feet as well. "Why are we talking about my and Sophie's private life? This conference is about their demon child attacking our daughter. And my bicycle..." He glared at the other couple.

Absolute rage washed over Jax's face.

Emma got to her feet and walked toward the teacher. "I agree. We really should talk about what hap—"

And then it was like the whole world stopped for a moment as Emma actually realized what Daniel had said. She turned horror-movie-doll slowly to face him, her expression frozen. "Did you just call my daughter a demon child?"

"Uh, yes!" Daniel crossed his arms over his chest in a very unsexy manner (read: the opposite of when Jax crossed his arms).

Emma slowly nodded and then she smiled in a way that Jax recognized as absolutely pissed. "Interesting." She turned and faced the teacher. "Charlotte, did you see the bear across the street?"

"What?!" The woman hurried to the window, scanning the area frantically.

Emma cast a spell in her head then shot it at Charlotte.

It took a moment to sink in and then she turned around, face livid. "MR. MILLER! To the board!"

Everyone's jaws simultaneously dropped.

"Yeah, _Mr. Miller_," Emma said in the most condescending tone anyone had ever heard her use. "To the board." She sauntered back over to her husband, sat on his lap, and crossed one leg over the other.

"You are brilliant," Jax said, shaking his head in awe.

Daniel desperately spluttered, "B-B-But—"

"TO THE BOARD!" the teacher roared. "Otherwise, it's detention for a month!"

"He doesn't even _go_ here!" Sophie objected.

"Yeah, I don't even—"

"Mr. Miller, if you are not at the board in the next ten seconds, I'm contacting the authorities."

_Called it, _Emma mentally noted.

With disbelief, Daniel stalked to the front of the room.

Emma cast another spell and aimed this one at the human guy.

His pants fell down.

He was wearing _My Little Pony_ tighty whities.

Jax erupted into laughter.

"You stole Zoey's underwear again?!" Sophie shrieked.

Charlotte slowly shook her head with the utmost disappointment. "Mr. Miller…"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, SOPHIE, THEY WEREN'T ZOEY'S!" he yelled, near tears. "I SWEAR they were mine, just like these are mine!" He turned to the teacher and frantically explained, "I just bought ten pairs off eBay last Wednesday!"

"PULL YOUR PANTS UP!" she demanded, shielding her eyes to avoid catching another glimpse of the disturbing sight.

"Stupid bunchy pants…" he grumbled, pulling up his dress pants and zipping them more forcefully than necessary. He grabbed a dry erase marker and uncapped it. "What am I supposed to write?"

"Well, I was going to have you write 'I am #mbm.' one hundred times, but now I think we'll go with 'I promise to be a better husband and less creepy father.'"

"But I've never stolen—"

"MILLER!"

"Okay!" Daniel placed the marker to the white board and began to write.

Jax and Emma looked at each other, nodded once, then cast a spell at the same time.

Suddenly Daniel was writing a much different sentence on the board:

_I will steal my daughter's underwear until she's 35._

"What?" Daniel gasped. "No. NOT AGAIN!" He gripped his hand and desperately tried to stop writing but he couldn't.

Sophie gasped. "That's disgusting!"

"Alright." Charlotte walked to the board and ripped the marker from Daniel's hand. "I'm calling the authorities. Clearly you're the cause of every problem in this situation. Jax, Emma," she gave an especially apologetic look to Mrs. Miller, "Sophie… I am so sorry. You're all free to go home."

"Thank you, Ms. Novak," Jemma said in Smiling Teacher's Pet unison.

"I'm going to go eat some fern leaves," Sophie announced. With a smile and a wave, she skipped out of the room.

"Ms. Novak, you don't understand," Daniel tried, tears forming in his eyes.

"Oh I understand perfectly! I'll see to it you get therapy that works this time."

"Bye, Daniel." Jax smirked and led his wife out the door.

"Bye, _Mr. Miller_," Emma said over her shoulder with a sarcastic pout. When Charlotte wasn't looking, she flipped him off then spelled the door shut.

Jax picked his wife up bridal style and carried her down the hall. "Emma Novoa, what has gotten into you?"

"No one messes with our baby," she said. "If you mess with my angel, you mess with me."

The wizard smiled. "So protective."

"You better believe it!"

It wasn't until they reached the exit door that Jax's cell phone rang.

"It's your dad," he said, placing Emma on the ground. He held the door for her then pressed the answer button as he followed her outside. "Hello?"

"DADDY!" Ahna's excited voice screamed. "GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!"

Jax pressed the speakerphone button then asked, "What just happened, love?"

"The Dolphins were beating us by one point but then right before halftime I got a goal so now we're winning and when Coach Rueda blew his whistle Christopher Planter came up to me and said, 'Good job' so I said, 'Thanks' and then he hugged me and said, 'You smell like Australia and glitter. I like it.' and then he SMILED AT ME!"

Her parents laughed.

"That's great, honey," Emma said with a smile as she opened the passenger door of the JAXYWXY SUV.

"Yeah, very cute," Jax added, climbing in the driver's side.

"I'm sooo excited! I have to go because the third quarter's starting but I'm totally going to marry him!" She squealed. "I love you guys!"

"Love you, too," Jemma replied.

_Click._

"Australia and glitter." Jax shook his head and chuckled. "Bet she doesn't think I talk so funny now."

"Nah, she probably thinks you talk just as funny as always," Emma replied with a smirk.

"And you were worried about me being bad!"

"Hey, babe. Guess what?"

"What?"

Emma leaned close and whispered seductively, "We're not in an elementary school anymore."

Jax grinned and whispered back, "And Ahna still has two quarters of a game to play."

"Drive!" Emma motioned to the steering wheel, suddenly even more eager to get home.

THE END.

* * *

><p><strong>I would just like to say as a side note, in no way am I making fun of any real person who attends therapy or has bipolar disorder. I used to attend therapy myself and the reason I use risperdal as #mbm humor is because there's a commercial that talks about how you can sue the makers of that medicine if you suffered an... unfortunate... side affect from taking it. XD I didn't even know what the medicine was for (bipolar disorder) until I looked it up on Google. Mental disorders are a very serious thing. I definitely am not saying Daniel has bipolar disorder (in the show <em>or<em> in my fics); I just throw in the risperdal because of the aforementioned unfortunate side effect and I think it's funny for him to have to take some sort of medicine. If you actually have a mental disorder which you need medicine for, I am in no way making fun of you, I promise. So yeah. Just wanted to make that clear. :)**


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